Boundaries, Bills And Brief Goodbyes

It's easy for me to write and come off as some wonderful, caring, Alan Alda/Phil Donahue/Dr. Phil type husband.

Let's be clear...I ain't.

If I in any way appear as such, chalk it up to the liberal use of poetic license. Truthfully, there are days, too many I fear, when I come home tired and grumpy only to be greeted by a minor issue which I quickly allow to become major.

Lately it's often centered on my wrestling match with our finances, which in turn has sparked somewhat unnecessary wrestling matches over boundaries between Amy and me.

I suppose this is all part of the learning curve, new things to be discovered both in duty, and in dialogue. It's not easy...but we're getting better, a bit more patient and hopefully in a month or two when I'm firmly convinced I know where the heck we are financially it'll be even easier.

Today I learned Amy had forgotten to file her sales tax return for her small business (it was due in January, a month she spent in the hospital) the amount was not miniscule, but in the grand scheme of things it was insignificant -although the late filing fee was certainly excessive. I at first let it become another source of aggravation, and Amy let it become another source of guilt. Then we permitted it to become something else...a meeting place for discussion. What was said is not important, and certainly not for public consumption, but I'm thinking that tax bill may be the best money we've spent so far (although I'm appealing the late filing fee...what the heck, I do write good letters).

Tonight Amy went and got a massage, cashing in a gift certificate I gave her for her birthday 4 years ago (she doesn't only procrastinate with bills). Tomorrow she will fly to Ohio to spend nearly 2 weeks with her parents, where she will be pampered a bit more. It will be good for her, and I feel a lot better about the trip now knowing she's not boarding a plane carrying unnecessary mental baggage.

I may not have figured out our finances quite yet, but I do know one thing...today added up to some sorely needed healing.

Long ago, when we first started dating, I promised Amy I would listen not only to what she said, but also try to hear what she meant.

I'm glad I remembered that today.

I need to practice it more...for it's far better than money in the bank.
Many are the plans in a man's heart, but it is the Lord's purpose that prevails.
- Proverbs 19:21