Refiner's Fever

Purify my heart,
let me be as gold and precious silver.
Purify my heart,
let me be as gold, pure gold.*


I checked Amy into the hospital by 7 or so this morning. The on-call doctor, who's a nice guy, did exactly what we expected and ordered that her recently installed "temporary" central line be removed. We did exactly what we expected and said, "No...not until Amy's surgeon is contacted."

This caused a small amount of consternation, but that was also predictable. We are really getting quite adept at this stuff.

I left for a while intending to go to the Elf Louise Radiothon, but instead coming home and falling asleep (my boss knew of the situation and told me he would have sent me home had I shown up). I did leave a note for Amy's hospital staff reading "No invasive procedures without her surgeon's express permission and Dr. ___________ in radiology is not to touch Amy for any reason." You'll have to search the archives for our radiology nightmares if you're really that intrigued, but suffice it to say we believe that particular radiologist lacks certain traits which we think are important...like the ability to follow orders, listen to patients, demonstrate any form of empathy, and to occasionally try not to actually cause pain.

Refiner's fire,
my heart's one desire
is to be…holy;
set apart for You, Lord.
I choose to be…holy;
set apart for You, my Master,
ready to do Your will.

Even though he wasn't on call, Amy's regular surgeon ended up calling her and saying we were right, he didn't want that line pulled yet, he wanted some tests run...and Amy put on a new antibiotic. They didn't run the first radiology test until about 7 tonight, I suspect because Dr. ________ was on call in radiology until about 6:30, and they wanted him to go home first.

In any case, more tests are scheduled. If the fever doesn't subside quickly with the new antibiotic, the line may come out, but another one will go in...I don't understand this, but that's the way it works with a lot of things. I don't understand them when they're happening, but later I see things more clearly.

Amy is feeling a little better....the fever is still there, but not in the "gee your face looks like ripe fruit" range.

I suspect she's going to be in the hospital a few days at least.

She's most disappointed about not being able to go to church tomorrow. She wanted to sing especially because, Joe, a guy who has been delivering our home health supplies for the past two years is visiting the church tomorrow (his church is disintegrating so he's looking for a new church home and he was hoping to hear Amy sing). He also plays keyboards, and I know Amy was half hoping to have someone in the congregation to spell our wonderful keyboard player when she can't be there.

More importantly though, he's a good guy, a very strong Christian, with a wonderfully upbeat attitude whom we haven't had a chance to really get to know. He comes to our doorstep, delivers supplies, we chat and he leaves to deliver to other patients.

Our church may not be a perfect fit for Joe - I don't know him well enough to determine that - but tomorrow I will at least have the chance to get to spend time with him somewhere other than our doorstep. He'll step inside the house of God and we will share in worship. That has to be a good thing.

Purify my heart,
let me be as gold and precious silver.
Purify my heart,
let me be as gold, pure gold.


Our friend Erin is in town and will also be at church tomorrow. She stopped by the hospital tonight to visit, and has also formally agreed to move into our house next month. There is no downside to that arrangement. She needs an inexpensive place to stay - we didn't want to charge her rent at all, but she's insisting and there's a limit to our ability to turn down cash these days. Still the rent is very minimal - less than she'd be charged anywhere this side of Mexico...well anywhere where you wouldn't have to spend a small fortune on deadbolts and ammunition in order to get a decent night's sleep.

We have plenty of room, so she can have privacy, and the whole deal is open ended...if she stays 3 months or 3 years, that's fine with us.

Erin returned a few months ago after spending a year in rural China. I mean real rural and very primitive by our standards.

This means our somewhat sloppy lifestyle will still be a step up I think. To my knowledge we'll only have to have one rule - about the telling of "dog stories." Since Erin received a different viewpoint of dogs while living in rural China, one which mercifully she didn't embrace, she will have to get used to living with dogs as creatures of annoyance, rather than potential entrees.

She's also got a great upbeat attitude which I think will strengthen Amy physically and spiritually.

That will do a lot for me too.

Refiner's fire,
my heart's one desire
is to be…holy;
set apart for You, Lord.
I choose to be…holy;
set apart for You, my Master,
ready to do Your will.

That's how it works so often. Here we are in the midst of turmoil...what seems like the intense and even harmful heat of uncertainty and good things happen...sometimes the most unexpected things.

God is shaping us constantly...it's such a rare treat to actually be able to take our focus off our problems, wants, desires, or fears, and instead be aware of His hand at work.

I suspect if I didn't allow myself to get caught up in the day to day toils as much I would see God's attempts at refining me more readily.

Purify my heart,
let me be as gold and precious silver.
Purify my heart,
let me be as gold, pure gold.

* Refiner's Fire by Sonic Flood