Heart Songs

Tomorrow morning if you wake up
and the sun does not appear
I will be here
If in the dark, we lose sight of love
Hold my hand, and have no fear
'Cause I will be here*


Amy is still sleeping. I woke up determined to get in my daily walk before church today, but I also felt a need to write.

The church had a "post valentine's" dinner last night. It was a fundraiser really, for one of our church missionary projects to send a couple of our young people to Moldova to work with orphans living in some of the harshest environs imaginable...unimaginable really.

Amy was asked to sing at the dinner, and although waking up with a chest cold and feeling crummy, she sang, albeit several octaves lower than her original plan. A lot of folks ate their spaghetti and talked...they didn't pay any attention to her. I did though...I fumbled around for a moment trying to record her with my PDA and then decided I was missing the moment. So I sat - I listened - I loved.


I will be here
When you feel like being quiet
When you need to speak your mind
I will listen
And I will be here
When the laughter turns to cryin'
Through the winning, losing and trying
We'll be together
I will be here


You see that was the same song Amy sang to me at our wedding nearly 11 years ago.

Tomorrow morning, if you wake up
And the future is unclear
I will be here
Just as sure as seasons were made for change
Our lifetimes were made for these years
So I will be here

At our wedding, it was a surprise. I was holding my future bride's hands, looking into her eyes when suddenly music started playing and Amy burst into song. It was beautiful. I teared up, but back then I was better at avoiding public displays of blubbering...had it happened today I would have unashamedly had tears streaming down my face. I've changed over the years...my emotions are close to the surface. I no longer make any apology for that, in fact I credit Amy and God for giving me the freedom to express what I feel, especially when that feeling is love.

At our wedding, I must admit about midway through the song there was a slight murmur amid the small crowd of family and friends. I immediately understood...there was a collective sense of worry that the song might in fact be a "duet" and a thinly repressed sense of horror that I might actually sing too.

When Amy finished, and I kept my mouth shut, the sigh of relief was audible.


I will be here
And you can cry on my shoulder
When the mirror tells us we're older
I will hold you
And I will be here
To watch you grow in beauty
And tell you all the things you are to me
I will be here

Last night I listened to Amy sing ...and thought how appropriate that song was today and 11 years ago.
Amy couldn't have known back then where our lives were headed, the twists and turns, the ups and down...yet she chose that song to sing to me out of all the songs she knows...and Amy knows a lot of songs.


I will be here
And you can cry on my shoulder
When the mirror tells us we're older
I will hold you
And I will be here
To watch you grow in beauty
And tell you all the things you are to me
I will be here

I had never heard the song before our wedding night. Some years later I discovered in my car (yeah I need to clean my car more often) the accompaniment tape she used at our wedding . I played it on a regular basis until it eventually wore out. There are rarely music tapes in my car...no CD's...I listen to the radio...that's what I do...but I listened to that tape...a lot. A lot more than Amy ever knew.

I will be true to the promise I have made
To you and to the One who gave you to me

Last night we had spaghetti and salad and good conversation with some dear friends. We gave a little money to a project to send a couple of our young church members to Moldova where they will learn about life's hard lessons.

And I had the pleasure of listening to my wife do what she has done so often over the years...fill my heart with song.
I remembered our wedding night and the many days and nights since then.

That song didn't mean as much to the other folks in attendance...it meant the world to me.

Tomorrow morning, if you wake up
And the sun does not appear
I will be here
Oh, I will be here.

These are lyrics I have lived...thanks to the wonderful inexplicable mercies of a loving God.


* "I Will Be Here" by Steven Curtis Chapman