ADVICE FOR LIFE

I wasn't asked to give an address to the graduates yesterday. If I had been it would have been short:

If you're ever asked to give a speech and you think it would be cute to write a poem and read it. Run that by someone first. If that person thinks a poem is a good idea, get another opinion.

Don't ever rent a movie starring one of the younger Baldwin brothers. Steer clear of Rutger Hauer films too.

Feel free to pierce or tattoo any body part you want...but only after you've landed a good paying job, and a spouse who loves you. And only when you're sober.

Don't ever put a decal on your car that shows someone urinating on something. No one thinks that's funny.