I'm beginning to dread those words. I have been on the phone and on line for at least an hour, talking to several very nice people to whom we owe money. They're not like members of the Sopranos or anything....they hold our mortgage.
Somehow I got "locked out" - no doubt due to my own clumsy fingers - of our on-line account.
Locked out? Call this number: 1-800- blah blah...
I call, and am greeted by some automaton who obviously is programmed to always seem happy.
I'm given numerous options, in English and Spanish...and I choose to find a human being.
I find human beings. They are also very nice, no doubt well on their way to being promoted to robots or perhaps are automatons in training...but every one of them directs me to a different office, a different number, tells me to press different "Option" keys.
I try them all.
I press 1 to deal with my mortgage... I put in my loan number...the last four digits of my Social Security number...my address....my shoe size...
"Please wait.
"Please wait.
"Please wait.
"Please wait.
Dial tone....
I call back...try to circumvent the system and get another human being. I'm given another number to call.
"Thank you for calling....please listen to our options."
I press a new series of numbers, hoping I'll get this really simple matter resolved.
"Please wait.
"Please wait.
"Please wait.
"Please wait.
Dial tone.
I call again...by now I'm a pro and I get through to a guy who says he'll connect me with a real human being and also gives me yet another secret code to enter if it doesn't work.
"Please wait.
"Please wait.
"Please wait.
Dial tone....
I'm reminded of the old joke of , "Press 1 to speak to a doctor...Press 2 to talk to a nurse...to lose weight press the # symbol....78888788989779 times..."
Finally, I get through to yet another human after wading into another matrix of secret codes not listed on the option menu for someone locked out of their online account. She says she'll send me a new password via email.
Being a little cynical by now, I ask...."When?"
She assures me she's already sent it.
That was 30 minutes ago. My email client checks for mail every minute.
"Please wait.
"Please wait.
"Please wait.
In life there's always an upside...if you look hard enough...
I figure the upside in this case is I have something to blog about...
No new password, no access to my account...no real information of value to you....but maybe that's coming.
"Please wait.
***Update***
I finally received my new password, was able to get to our account, was able to find the area where I was told I could make this simple change...and...
Yeah, it wouldn't let me.
Every once in a while, I'm not stupid. Sometimes, admittedly, it takes me a while to prove that, but by this time I decided on another approach. I drove the one mile to the bank with which we have the mortgage, walked in and said," Can anyone help me make this minor change?"
I kid you not...10 seconds...In 10 seconds, this very nice young man had a form filled out ready for me to sign and was saying,"Is there anything else I can help you with?"
I resisted the urge to ask, "Could you call me maybe every week or two and just remind me that I'm not always stupid?"
Probably would have been an automated call anyway...
