THE LAST WORD

My wife is leading a plot to get me to quit my job and move to Ohio. This is not news. It's not even a thinly veiled conspiracy any longer. It's an outright assault which I've become accustomed to, and quite frankly, do not oppose on the condition that it makes economic, spiritual, and common sense.

I admit I've been a tad resistant for silly little reasons like: I've invested nearly 20 years in my current position. We have no money. We're deep in debt. We'd lose our medical insurance. I occasionally like to eat.

The latest position that appeared for my perusal is for the Operations Director of a Christian radio station/broadcast network at a small Baptist University.

My qualifications for the post are subject to debate, but I could probably wing it.

Since this is a religious school there are some other criteria beyond skills and experience, including the signing of a Doctrinal statement. I read it over, and although it's fairly fundamentalist in viewpoint, I really have no strong theological objections to the beliefs being espoused.

Then there is the "Lifestyle commitment", with which all employees must agree to abide.

I read through it and as I went along I thought, "Okay, I could do this".

It states:
Employees should do only those things that glorify God. I'm certainly in favor of that.
Employees must abstain from alcoholic beverages. I drink wine these days, but in moderation and I quit drinking for ten years so I could live with that.
No tobacco: No problem.
No non-medical use of narcotics: Been there, done that, no desire to see the replay.
No unwholesome media materials: Personally I think most media is unwholesome, but I figure that's subjective and they're probably referring to porn, so that's not an issue.
No gambling: That'll save us some money.
No dancing: Amy will be crushed, since we've been dancing exactly ZERO times since I've known her, but I could probably survive as long as foot tapping is allowed.
Respect the Lord's day: No problem here, assuming this is not a prohibition on watching football on Sundays.
Dress appropriately: Believe me the more of me I keep covered the better I feel and those feelings are echoed by everyone around me.
No racism, disrespect, or unethical conduct: I'm home free.

We're coming down to the wire..only two words left in the whole "Lifestyle commitment" pledge!

No irreverence:

DOH! That one might be a deal breaker :)