Wednesday, January 14, 2004

KITSCH, CATS, SMOKES AND RIDES

Amy is the one on the morphine (and a variety of other pain meds thanks to a few well placed screams), but I'm the one whose been seeing some strange sights over the past few days in the hospital.

Around 11 last night I stumbled out of Amy's room to stretch my legs and noticed a guy on a Segway.


I've seen people riding these much hyped scooters on TV, but I've never actually seen someone using one in real life. I was groggy and fumbling to grab my tiny little camera that I've put through the wash twice, but he was too quick for me. He obviously worked at the hospital since he was using the service elevators. He gave me a look as if to say, "What are you staring at?" and then zipped onto the elevator and into my memory.

I did notice one thing, this hospital worker on the Segway wasn't wearing a helmet.

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Without fail the saddest thing I see at the hospital every day are the folks I pass in the hallway invariable suffering from "bed head" and wearing rumpled PJ's who are always shuffling toward the front entrance tugging their IV racks behind them.

They are the smokers going to sit on the "smoking bench" outside the hospital.

I figure the hospital considers having woefully ill looking smokers at the front door a form of advertising.

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Perhaps the strangest thing I've seen at the hospital is this:



It's on the floor of the gift shop. I shuddered when I almost stepped on it.

It's not alive.

It's not a cat.

It's a creepy little fake cat made of rabbit fur and something akin to cement.

They sell for 29 dollars.

I don't know how many they sell or who would purchase them, but I've played out the scene in my mind.

"I was just down in the gift shop. I was going to bring you a card and flowers, but I found this faux roadkill and thought of you. Get well soon!"