WRESTLING TIGER WOODS

I am wrestling Tiger Woods.

I got an Xbox last year. Didn't pay for it. Some game company wanted me to do reviews on Xbox stuff, and when I mentioned that I didn't have an Xbox, suddenly one appeared. Radio has its perks.

I like computer games, but don't play many. Amy and I use the Xbox primarily as a DVD player in the bedroom. I still do game reviews on occasion. I will probably produce 20 to 30 game reviews this year. I produce close to 300 computer related radio features a year. If I did them all on games, I'd have lots of games on my shelves, but no food in my pantry.

The games I do write about are usually good games Why waste radio time talking about something that stinks? Most often I play the game a few times, look over the materials, maybe do an interview with a game developer and then write my piece. After that the game sits around to be played every so often or never again. In past years Amy has persuaded me to give many of the games away to charity groups or kids in church so we can clear space.

The newest game I've been playing is Tiger Woods PGA Tour 2004. I received it on Thursday and it quickly has consumed me life. I have never played real golf. I don't own any golf clothing (although I nearly had some yellow pants that would have looked swell on the course). I don't really even know the golf lingo.

Now, I'm a pro. I know when to use a wood. I know how to boost the power of my driver. I have played John Daly and won. I have scored a hole in one on a professional course in Hawaii. I have a double eagle to my credit and have won 150 thousand dollars on two professional tour stops.

I accomplished all those things without getting out of bed. Oh yeah, and I did a radio piece about it.

Admittedly, as I'm yellng, "FORE!" Amy can occasionally be heard mumbling stuff about organizing a Tiger Woods PGA Tour 2004 intervention, but so far I think my new hobby is going great.

It's not like I'm addicted. I haven't played at all today. Okay, maybe that's because my thumb is too bruised from playing all weekend, but I have it under control...really. Take the word of an old Duffer won't ya?

Watch out Tiger. I'm gunning for you. As soon as my thumb heels.