JACK 36

"Jack 36" was in church today. Jack is my Pastor's father in law, and a wonderful gent. He is about my height. Jack also is under the impression that I can somehow squeeze my carcass into size 36 pants.

It's not that Jack's vision is fading, it's that I don't see Jack very often; he lives in another city. At one point in our history I was a size 36, but that, alas, is not now the case.

When I saw Jack today, he immediately mentioned that he had some pants he wanted to give me. Size 36. It's wonderfully generous. In past years he's gifted me with some quality slacks and jeans.

Now he's presenting me with something else I suppose. Inspiration.

I've made enough excuses. I have to start walking again.

Pardon me if at first it appears closer to a waddle.

Sure, deck your limbs in pants,
Yours are the limbs, my sweeting.
You look divine as you advance . . .
Have you seen yourself retreating?

- Ogden Nash