I walked out this morning and there were seven grown birds all crammed into the nest...I thought, "How cute" until they ALL started to dive bomb me.
I ran to my car, clutching my tea and briefcase looking like a character from a b-movie escaping marching zombies. I was half awake and in total disbelief.
I walked out to the mailbox a few minutes ago - yes, I forgot there was no mail today - and upon my return I was assaulted...not by Mama and Papa protecting their babies, but by at least 4 grown swallows. Where before one might squawk and another might dive bomb...now all of them attack...en masse! I was tempted to get a baseball bat, but then I actually had the passing thought that for the only time in my life I might swing a bat and hit something, and I'd feel terrible....probably. I also wondered of what else are these maniacal winged beasts capable? Could they get meaner or call in reinforcements?
One thing is for certain...this is not a little family of birdies....this is a gang.
I don't share this revelation lightly. How embarrassing is it to say, "Did I mention I'm living in fear...of the tiny barn swallows on my porch"?
I struggled for a solution and even briefly toyed with the idea of renting a cat.
Googling the phrase "rent-a-cat" however resulted in this....
Apparently the Dollar Rent-a-Car folks in Japan need a better translator.
It did help me realize the only way I was going to survive this assault though.
Laugh if off....and run.
