Kinky Avoidance

image swiped from copperlove studios

I don't know Kinky Friedman...you might not either. I have several connections to him though. I've read most of his books, mainly rather blasphemous and humorous detective novels. I had a co-worker who helped produce an album of famous artists performing songs Kinky did with his band "Kinky and the Texas Jewboys." Songs like, "Get your biscuits in the oven and your buns into bed."

Classics - although that tribute album was wretched.

Kinky recently kicked off his campaign to become Texas Governor with slogans like "Kinky- Why the Hell Not?" and "Kinky Friedman for Governor- How hard could it be?"

I hope he makes it onto the ballot. It will be a very difficult task. He'll have to convince hundreds of thousands of Texans NOT to vote in the primary and then sign his petitions. Texas, a state that prides itself on its independence makes it almost impossible for an independent to run for statewide office. Go figure.

Anyway, I've bumped into Kinky a number of times over the years. He used to be a regular on our various radio shows because of his quick wit. Then we banned smoking in the building and Kinky never came back



He's a militant cigar smoker.

Anyway I do have a more personal claim to fame to Kinky Friedman.

I've mentioned before on numerous occasions that I believe people name Wayne are predestined to commit crimes, specifically to become killers. I won't go into again...you'll simply have to believe me...or trust people named Wayne...your choice...probably a good idea to lock your doors either way.

Years and years ago WOAI had a somewhat abysmal talk show in the dark of night called "Road Across America" which was originally aimed at truckers and eventually became aimed at anyone who could pick up the rather extensive 50 thousand watt signal of the station. It was hosted by a guy named Ben Baldwin who was known to occasionally augment his coffee with stuff besides cream and sugar, so the topics quite often would stray.

One night I was called in to work for the normal overnight guy and I had time on my hands. I set up our newsroom computers to search for all the stories about people named "Wayne" on the newswire (this was pre-Internet) and crimes. I also had a list of some of the more notorious Waynes already compiled. During a break in the show I went into Ben and gave him the list as sort of a joke. The next thing I knew he opened the microphone and said, "Why are so many killers named Wayne?" He started reading down the list live on the air without giving it a second thought. I was horrified. I mean, there are a lot of people named Wayne out there.

The phone lines lit up like Ben Baldwin after a full night of "coffee"....not only from people named Wayne threatening to kill Ben, but also from all sorts of people with stories about Waynes who were killers or general no goodniks. Ben did an entire hour on the topic ending with a psychologist theorizing that in the 50's and 60's men named their sons after John Wayne and those boys had a hard time living up to their father's macho images. Thus they became killers. It was truly a surreal experience.

Fast forward a few years - Ben Baldwin is gone....Road across America is no more...I still believe Waynes are dangerous life forms and I'm reading one of Kinky's trashy novels, I don't remember which and I'm too lazy to go downstairs to look it up, but there's a line in it that says something to the effect of, "I can't sleep and I'm listening to all night talk radio. The announcer is asking,' why so many killer's are named Wayne?'"


Wayne serendipity.

It has nothing to do with anything, but I was reminded of the story today and the only other things I had to write about were going to take more thought to explain...and certainly more thought for me to understand. Primarily today I've been thinking about and praying about boundaries as well as saying "No" even when it means saying no to one of the sweetest people I've ever met and a project which I truly believe in. I'm having a hard time with it, but somehow I know it's right.

I'm not ready to write about that yet.

So I dashed out this old memory and I plugged Kinky Friedman's run for Governor.

Maybe tomorrow I'll be ready to write on that other topic....how hard could it be?

Making Room

I am supposed to be in the shower...I have no time to write. Superbowl Sunday may prevent further insights from me if I want to make room for a pre-game nap.

But I'm thinking about Lent. Amy and I are not going to "give up" anything. We're going to give each other instead. Give each other more of our time and give more of that time together to God.

We're still working out the exact details, but if the intent of Lent is to abstain from things or remove things from your life so that you can make more room for God, I think we're on the right track.

I know this much...we're going to set aside one hour a day...every day. No TV, no distractions, we'll turn off the phones and spend the time with each other and God. What form that will take...we're not certain.

However I think we're both sure it will be a good thing.

Showering before church is a good thing too...and I better get a get to it.

Home

Amy's coming home this morning.

In terms of hospital stays...this one was a piece o' cake.

Next time I'd prefer to skip dessert entirely though.

The Price

Amy is in the hospital again.

We don't expect this to be a drawn out thing, but she had some distressing symptoms (I won't elaborate) this morning, on top of a lack of sleep and the general nervousness one might expect from someone who spent nearly four months in the hospital last year. A call to the doctor resulted in another direct admit to the hospital. She's undergoing some tests and will probably be in at least through tomorrow. I'm hoping she won't spend the entire weekend there, but we'll deal with whatever comes up.

A few minutes ago she called to wake me up, as ordered, and told me she was being prepped for one of the primary tests. Then she told me to go back to sleep for an hour or so before driving up to spend time with her tonight in those all too familiar surroundings.

Her suggestion I go back to sleep is not possible; once I'm awake I'm usually up for the duration. That's the price I pay for a wacky schedule.

I've been thinking about the price we pay for a lot of things lately. Partially that's due to the fact that I'm confronted by our bank balance each time I sit down at the computer, however a larger reason is because one topic has been on my mind a lot this week: freedom.

Watching the people of Iraq go to vote and defy the threats against them, to see some walk miles to the polls...that has been awe inspiring. Knowing that many Iraqis died at the hands of terrorists this week because they chose to vote and recognizing that, their neighbors still lined up to cast ballots undeterred by the violence...that has been almost impossible for me to comprehend.

To top it off there have been those pictures. It has been humbling to see pictures of men and women whose hands were marked with ink proving they voted and who proudly displayed those ink stained fingers to celebrate the voting process. They knew those celebrations put them in further danger, but they risked it gladly because they knew they have won something of which they have too long been deprived - freedom.



I couldn't help but remember how many times Amy and I have blown off voting because the lines were too long or we "didn't really care" about an issue, or it was too nice a day to "waste" 10 minutes...or worse yet that "our vote didn't count."

I am embarrassed.

We should wave our freedoms aloft - high above our heads - treating them like treasures and letting them glisten in the glory of the dazzling light from the sun. We should simultaneously cherish them - hold them close to our hearts at all times - to make certain they come to no harm.

Instead too often we ignore them.

And we forget.

We forget the very men and women who won those freedoms for us.

We forget the price they paid.

"Is life so dear, or peace so sweet, as to be purchased at the price of chains and slavery? Forbid it, Almighty God!"

That quote is rather famous. Almost every American knows who said it, except most don't realize they know it.

It's the next line - the end of the quote - that is etched into our memories...

"I know not what course others may take; but as for me, give me liberty or give me death!" - Patrick Henry

It's been a long time since we Americans fought for our freedoms. We're more apt to fight over who gets possession of the remote control.

"Freedom is just another word for nothing left to lose..." - Kris Kristofferson

That was a fun song once, though to me today the lyrics ring very hollow.

Freedom is much more than another word.

It's a way of life that almost always comes to us at a high and mournful price...blood.

Yet we forget.

Even Christians forget despite being reminded so often....so very very often.

Last Sunday I stood around a wooden table with fellow members of my church. We shared small portions of bread and juice and said these exact words, "This is the body of Christ broken for you. This is the blood of Christ poured out for you."

Christ bought our freedom - freedom from sin.

And He purchased it with His blood.

Cashing & Crashing

It's been one of those days. I've had too little sleep and we came to the realization that we had far too little money.
An Ebay blessing (thank you folks for instant pay) kept us from the financial brink...now all I need is about 9 hours sleep.

So I'm cashing in for the night.

Using Your Head

Head, Shoulders, Knees and Toes,
Knees and Toes
Head, Shoulders, Knees and Toes,
Knees and Toes

click to be really annoyed

I remember years ago noticing that every time Troy Aikman went to the sidelines during a Cowboy's game he quickly put on a cap. At first I thought it was a superstition, but then I learned it was a paid arrangement. He was under contract for something like $200,000 a season to make sure anytime the TV cameras caught him on the sidelines he was wearing that cap.

That of course was Troy Aikman and presumably it worked. I suppose someone sold a lot of caps because of Aikman's famous head.

Of course Troy would have probably made more money if he kept his helmet on since he had his skull bashed in so often he had to be reminded of his name for the last year or two of his career...but that's another story.

Troy Aikman made 200 thousand bucks a year using his head.

I'm sure you've heard about this kid -



He's a 20 year old web designer who auctioned off his forehead on Ebay...for 37 thousand dollars. He has to keep a logo for some anti snore goop on his noggin for a month and he pockets the cash.

This woman

cashed in to the tune of four grand and change the other day after she agreed to keep her shirt lifted up over her pregnant belly for a couple of months to hawk a casino.

I wonder if when she's in the delivery room they'll pull her arm and the baby will tumble out like coins from a slot machine.

Topping it off of course is Richard Hamilton, of the Detroit Pistons who agreed to have hair cut in the pattern of Goodyear's "Triple Tred" tire.



They're not saying how much he got paid, but he admits he did get a free set of tires.

I suppose his agent arranged it. I can only imagine how that conversation went...

"Hey, I've got a client in the NBA...he's not much of a talker but surely he could advertise something.

Yeah, I know he's an airhead but…..hey there's an idea!"


Head, Shoulders, Knees and Toes,
Knees and Toes
Head, Shoulders, Knees and Toes,
Knees and Toes

Every little body part goes
Head, Shoulder, Knees and TOE$!

Turning Over Stones And Finding Memories

I was confronted by an old memory this morning. It was triggered by a newspaper story about Stonehenge.

Oh, not that Stonehenge...a different one...sort of a sequel I'd guess you'd call it...Stonehenge II, a pseudo replica almost hidden in the depths of the Texas Hill Country.



The newspaper story was about how Stonehenge II was gradually degrading and how the nephew of the man who originally had it built was working to preserve it.

The man initially who "commissioned" Stonehenge II was named Al Sheppard. He died more than a decade ago, but several years before he finished being amused on earth I had the pleasure of meeting him and his close friend Doug Hill, who actually did most of the physical work constructing Stonehenge II - for the record there really wasn't much stone involved, mostly plaster and rebar.

That was a different time in many ways. We did things on the radio which I'd never allow today...things like 4 or 5 minute feature stories. Today we don't have that luxury of time. We work very hard at presenting a sense of urgency in hopes of convincing our audience that if they turn their attention away for only a few seconds they'll risk missing something important. Today if a radio story runs longer than 30 seconds I'm usually chopping it away in chunks. I try not to believe this trend is due to the public's ever decreasing attention span...luckily if my thoughts do drift in that direction they don't linger there long.

Anyway, back then we also encouraged reporters, of which I was one, to spend less time digging for dirt at city hall, the courthouse or Washington and more time scratching the surfaces closer to our doorsteps. We often found fertile soil yielding wonderful tales which perhaps today might go overlooked due to a shortage of patience.

It was during one of those free wheeling "go find someone interesting...something fun to report" excursions that I happened upon Al Sheppard and Stonehenge II.

I don't think I've ever laughed more during any news interview I've done...even when I worked at the State Capitol surrounded by politicians.

It was nice to remember that today.

I had to search around a bit, but with Amy's help, I found the radio feature I produced way back then.

I also sent a note to Al's nephew mentioning my fond memories of glomming onto his Uncle's enjoyment of life and his obvious amusement at befuddling passersby - not to mention his neighbors - with something so completely out of place and unexpected.

It's a lengthy audio clip...so if you don't have broadband don't even attempt it, but if you want to listen to the original story I did all those years ago you can click here.

The irony of this situation isn't lost on me. For centuries people have been trying to preserve the original Stonehenge and also come to some understanding of how and why it came to be...and today, nestled in a little valley in the Texas Hill Country, work is underway to restore a knock off version, the origins of which might only be truly understood if you perhaps had the privilege and pleasure of meeting Al Sheppard and listening to him laugh and even then you might still be left wondering.